I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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