You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
