My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
