I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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