Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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