not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
