Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
