it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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