I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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