Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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