dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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