I could have mohawked her pubes.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
