I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
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yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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