you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
