her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
