so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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