Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
