return my video game
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
