This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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