he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
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Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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