help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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