gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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