First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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