bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize