i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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