Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dicks are not precious.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
