i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
