Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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