I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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