i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
