Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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