i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
