i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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