Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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