nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
