I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
