I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
