i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
