He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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