My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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