batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
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We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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