im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
