dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
