okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
This is my gift to your gina
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
