oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
