Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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