Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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