i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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