Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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