I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
