all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
