My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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