y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
