I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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