Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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