pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize