Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize