I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize