Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you traded sex for a burrito?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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