quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
