he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
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he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
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