Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
