Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
She bit a glass in half.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
